Last week, Susan bought a robot cat in the toy store. Susan was very excited to have a companion to keep her company. She happily lifted the robot cat with joy. She said to the robot cat, “You are going to be my new pet!” She slowly walked out from the store while holding the robot with two hands tightly.

After she got back home, she quickly went to the drawer and took two batteries. She put those batteries into the robot cat and suddenly, the robot cat started to meow quietly. Susan was shocked to hear the robot cat meowed once. She couldn’t believe what she was seeing! The robot cat jumped to her desk and said, “Hello!” She had a big smile on her face and clapped her hands rapidly. She was ecstatic to have a new friend.

The next day, Susan thought of a pretty risky idea. Since she was a risk-taker, she had confidence to try it out. The idea was to try to sneak the robot cat into school, so she could play with it during recess. She nervously walked into school, hoping that her plan would work.

During her Chinese class, Susan and her classmates were reading a story out loud. All of a sudden, the robot cat emerged itself out of Susan’s school bag and started flashing its lights which caught the teacher’s eyes. Angrily, the teacher picked up the robot cat and took away its batteries, so it wouldn’t disturb the class again. Susan was devastated because the teacher ended up confiscating her new toy.

After school, Susan went to apologize to the teacher. I promised I would never bring any toys to school ever again. The teacher told Susan that she should respect the class and everyone. Finally, the teacher gave back Susan her robot cat. It was a lesson she would never forget.

Teacher’s comment: Good use of the connectives to help make story coherent. Also, the choice of vocabulary is good. I enjoy reading your story!